Maybe libertarianism is just socialism for stoners

Gary Johnson just had another stoner moment when he couldn’t name a single living leader of another country. Not one. Shimon Peres? His running mate and designated driver William Weld had to remind him that Peres was no longer among living world leaders. Oh yeah, Gary said. Silence. We waited. Gary shrugged. I’m having another Aleppo moment, he said. I had no idea it was possible to smoke that much marijuana. Yet Johnson is still at 6% nationally and up to 30% among voters 18-35. The very unstoned Jill Stein, however, is down to 1% nationally and slipping below 15% among those same 18-35 year olds. But she is a doctor, not a pothead, and you know what buzzkills doctors are, even the hippie ones. So apparently every time Gary Johnson has a Cheech and Chong moment on national television, Jill Stein loses more stoner votes. Refill Johnson’s bong and the Green Party might disappear altogether. Though if anyone has an alternative explanation I’d love to hear it.

Jill Stein

Man, did the Green party blow it this year. They selected a ticket so incompetent that it not only failed to pick up most of Bernie Sanders’ supporters, but has since lost two thirds of the ones they did get. Jill Stein is now showing up with 2% (and dropping) in most of the four way polls, down from 6% before she began campaigning in earnest. Such a debacle the Greens are having that when Gary Johnson asked “Where’s Aleppo?”, the Greens lost more voters than the Libertarians. Apparently Gary the Stoner’s short term memory issues were more attractive to die some hard Bernie Bros than was a woman (you know those Bernie Bros and women) who was running on nearly all of Bernie Sanders’ platform. A very large percentage of Jill Stein’s socialist followers are apparently converting to libertarianism because Gary Johnson is a dude you can smoke a doob with. And unless she can cool it with the silly sixties crap and actually run a campaign that isn’t embarrassing–the raised fists and calls for the brothers and sisters to join the revolution ain’t cutting it–there might soon be more Bernie supporters voting for Trump than for Jill Stein. It is hard to imagine how her campaign could have done worse in what should have been their banner year. Bernie Sanders laid the groundwork for what could have been the greatest showing by a left wing candidacy in a century. Instead she has made an Ayn Rand quoting Libertarian look relevant. Those voters will not be coming back to the socialist fold anytime soon.

Note to Green Party–ixnay on the ippiehays in 2020.