The Democratic Party of the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas held their caucuses today. Saipan is the principle island of the Northern Marianas, famous as the place where Lee Marvin was shot in the ass by a Japanese machine gunner in the early stages of the American invasion of the island during World War Two, something no one made fun of to his face. Saipan is also where at the close of that battle more than a thousand Japanese civilians blew themselves up or hurled their children and then themselves off cliffs onto the rocks below rather than surrender to the Americans, making for some of the most disturbing footage of World War Two, but I am digressing horribly. The Northern Marianas are the only other territorial commonwealth of the United States besides Puerto Rico, and though the people living in both are U.S. citizens, they cannot vote in presidential elections, being that they have no representation in Congress, as we citizens of the fifty states don’t actually vote for President, but for electors of the Electoral College who vote for President on our behalf, with each state having as many electors as there are congressional districts in the state, plus their two senators, another absurd 18th century holdover that I hate, but that’s another rant. Citizens of both commonwealths (and indeed, of any US territories) can vote in caucuses or primaries to send delegates to the national party conventions, as party selection processes are not actually governmental, something generally not understood, I don’t believe, by many people. The territorial parties are very enthusiastic about participating as it makes them a step closer to actual statehood. But I’m digressing again, it must be my very spare meal of coffee and mashed potatoes. Anyway, Hillary got four of the North Mariana delegates, and Bernie two, not altering the race a damn bit.

Now you know.